trust

We all know a leader who has made a major mistake. Perhaps this very thought reminds you of the story of your former pastor. Or maybe the leader of a well-known organization. Perhaps you instinctively think of what’s happening in your church right now. Or you might dwell on the regret that you’re currently trying to fix. 

Mistakes come in different shapes and sizes, but each one has something in common: whenever a leader makes a mistake, the trust that person had with their followers is damaged. Warren Buffet has famously said, “It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it.” But how does his comment relate to trust? How can a leader rebuild trust after any mistake, regardless of its size? 

Most of us can agree there’s a wide gap between honest mistakes and moral failures. However, whenever a leader is slow to admit a mistake that appears to be harmless, the distance to moral failure begins to shrink. 

We can likely agree that embezzling money and double-booking a meeting are examples that are grossly disproportionate to each other. And yet, they also share something significant. They raise questions; and for good reason! Followers want to know—they need to know—if they can trust a leader again. This is the motivation behind the inquiries that must surely follow.

When I’m in the position of “needing to know,” I find myself asking two primary questions—no matter the size of the mistake that a leader has made.

Why did this mistake happen?

I want to know why a mistake occurred because I want to understand the leader’s heart. Was this a simple error or was it calculated? Has this happened before and does the leader have a plan—and the necessary support—to keep it from happening again? 

Understandably, some leaders can feel uncomfortable disclosing these details and there are times when some information cannot be shared publicly. But the details aren’t as important as what they reveal. My primary concern is the systemic issues that may have led to a leader’s mistake. This helps me consider if the leader is willing to examine these elements and work with others to build a healthier system.

Part of my analysis is motivated by a fear I am consciously aware of, but cautious to verbalize. Is this leader likely to make a future mistake that is even more damaging than this one?

Reggie McNeal has said, "Genuine spirituality lives and flourishes only in cultures and relationships of accountability" [1]. If this is true, and I believe it is, then accountability must be an essential element of our disciple-making strategies.

According to Dr. Dave Currie, accountability is "the volunteer surrender of your life to the regular and frequent scrutiny and encouragement of another person for the purpose of ongoing life transformation that brings glory to God" [2]. 

Currie believes that this kind of accountability helps people get perspective on current problems. It paves the way for support in tough times. It provides a consistent challenge to grow. It helps keep us focused on the future and to take necessary next steps in our personal growth. In the words of Bob Proctor, "Accountability is the glue that ties commitment to the result." 

Now, it's important to realize that the most effective forms of accountability combine loving graciousness with tenacious and consistent support. Accountability should not be legalistic or brutal. It's meant to provide just enough pressure to initiate and sustain growth at an optimal pace.

So, what does accountability look like? It's simply discussing what's going on in your life. What are your current struggles? What are the possibilities that excite you? It's talking about the emotions that you experience, particularly those that are recurring emotions. Accountability provides an opportunity to explore our primary relationships. It's a place to ask hard questions.

In his book entitled Cultivating a Life for God, Neil Cole shares a number of accountability questions that people can ask each other in what he calls "Life Transformation Groups"—groups of two or three Christians that meet weekly to help each other grow in their relationship with God. Cole includes the following questions from James Bryan Smith and Richard Foster: 

The growth of an organization often depends on the strength of the working relationship between its board and staff. Stephen M.R. Covey writes:

There is one thing that is common to every individual, relationship, team, family, organization, nation, economy, and civilization throughout the world—one thing which, if removed, will destroy the most powerful government, the most successful business, the most thriving economy, the most influential leadership, the greatest friendship, the strongest character, the deepest love. On the other hand, if developed and leveraged, that one thing has the potential to create unparalleled success and prosperity in every dimension of life. Yet, it is the least understood, most neglected, and most underestimated possibility of our time. That one thing is trust. {1} 

Trust is the foundational element for building a strong board-staff team. Yet, how do we build trust in this strategic relationship? Here are some ideas to consider:

1. Spend time together

There is no substitute for just hanging out together in a relaxed, fun environment. For example, in the churches where I have served, we have done board-staff meals and retreats. When I was starting out in pastoral ministry, my lead pastor would remind the staff team to make the most of our overnight leadership retreats by spending time with non-staff leaders. It was prime time to build relationships.

The primary relationship in the board-staff team is between the lead pastor and the chair/moderator. If you are one of those people, make sure that you meet with your counterpart once or twice a month (preferably for a relaxed discussion over coffee or a meal). Build a strong relationship even as you discuss church matters.

It’s also important to encourage or even structure regular interactions between individual board members and staff.

Relationships provide the context in which trust can flourish.

2. Over-communicate