Coaching and mentoring are a way of life. We can turn any conversation into a mentoring opportunity by listening, asking good questions, helping people focus on what’s most important, and empowering them to take next steps (I address these four skills in my blog, Why Being a Mentor Isn’t as Scary as You Think). However, there is also a place for using these skills in structured coaching sessions where we intentionally engage in disciple-making conversations during several planned sessions. 

In this blog, I will describe the five stages of a structured coaching conversation using the COACH Model for Christian Leaders by Keith Webb (you will notice that each stage corresponds to the letters in the word COACH). 

Connect – build rapport and trust 

Every mentoring conversation requires a meaningful connection, so that the other person is willing to share and explore possibilities. At the start of the session, it’s important to take time to build rapport, revisit goals from the previous session, and pray together. 

Sample questions:

• How have you been?
• What progress have you made on the action steps you identified the last time we spoke?

Outcome – find out what the person would like to discuss 

In a coaching session, it is highly beneficial for the coachee to identify an outcome for the conversation. This helps focus the interaction on what’s most important to them, leading to better results. Asking good questions can probe beneath the surface of a presenting issue and uncover something that might be even more critical to discuss. Make sure that the outcome is achievable during the time you have together.

Sample questions:

• What would be most helpful for us to work on today?
• What result would you like to take away from our conversation? 

Awareness – discover more about the issues and current reality

During my years as a children’s pastor and now as a parent of four children, I have become a huge fan of helping kids develop a servant heart. In this blog, I will share five ways that parents, children’s ministry workers, and friends of children, can mobilize children into ministry.

1. Believe that Children Can and Must Serve

We sometimes assume that children can only make a small contribution to the church. Yet, Jesus Himself pointed to children as exemplars of a simple faith—a mustard-seed-kind-of-faith that can move mountains.

Children often have a wholesome naiveté and are not intimidated by others. I still remember when my oldest son was three years-old. We were walking by a tough-looking guy sitting on a chair on the sidewalk. Before we could say anything, Caleb had jumped up on the guy’s lap and was chatting with him like he was an old friend.

Children are often eager to learn and try new things. What an opportunity to instill the value of serving others! The habits they establish now can last a lifetime.

If we say that every believer is an integral member of the body of Christ, it follows that all members—including children—are absolutely necessary. If children are not using their gifts and abilities to build up the body, the body suffers. It is imperative that we believe that children can and must serve.

2. Cultivate a Ministry Heart

One of the simple things we have done over the years with our kids is to invite them to serve with us. Whether it was helping stack chairs at the church or moving with our older kids into a refugee housing project (see the Do Something blog about this experience), we recognized that kids are quick to follow the examples of others.

Strengths-based leadership is a trendy topic today. Is focusing on our strengths, those skills that are already well-developed, really a good approach? Even though there are some potential dangers associated with strengths-based leadership, I believe that there are four reasons why we should include this approach in our leadership.

Reason #1 – You Will be More Engaged in Your Work

Think about one of your weaknesses that you bring into the workplace. How does it feel when you use that weakness repeatedly to accomplish something? Now, think about one of your work-related strengths? How does it feel when you get to use that strength in your work?

Most people tend to feel discouraged, inadequate, and unmotivated when they serve in areas of weakness. However, the opposite is usually true when we get to use our strengths. We feel empowered, excited, and fulfilled.

According to a 2007 Gallup poll, “People who do have the opportunity to focus on their strengths every day are six times as likely to be engaged in their jobs and more than three times as likely to report having an excellent quality of life in general." [1]

The Gallup research clearly indicates that we will be more excited about our work when we get to use our strengths. The staff and volunteers on our teams will be more motivated to serve when we help them use their strengths in meaningful ways. In fact, Rath and Conchie discovered that when organizational leaders focus on peoples’ strengths, there is a 73% chance that they will be engaged in their work (compared to 9% when leaders do not focus on others’ strengths). [2]

When we are engaged in our ministry, we are much more willing to make significant investments in that ministry. Our enthusiasm level is higher, which spreads to others. We’re more likely to persevere with a project and stick with a ministry long-term.

Andy Stanley has said, “Don’t strive to be a well-rounded leader. Instead, discover your zone and stay there. Then delegate everything else." [3] 

In other words, focus on your strengths.

Reason #2 – God Wants Us to Wisely Invest What He Gives Us